32 ways of being an asshole to people

You only live once right? So what's stopping you from have a little fun and messin' with people while you're here on this earth?

Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors." Specify that your drive-through order is "TO-GO." If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up." Reply to everything someone says with "that's what you think." Practice making fax and modem noises. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc" them to your boss. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.

How do you rank among the pack?

Gents, time to check yourself and find out which category you fall into. If you're not an Alpha plus then you've got a lot of work ahead of you. We, being Alpha males ourselves at MUB, think this is just entertaining and need no ranking system to tell us where we stand. But just maybe, some sorry soul will see this and reevaluate themselves; finding the drive to be the man they ought to be.


Source: www.eatliver.com