Learning Guitar To Get Laid...
Tired of those hippie, free loving assholes with the acoustic guitars and all the musical knowledge in the world stealing the attention of every hot chick at every awesome party you've every been to? It's bad enough they ruin a perfectly sweet party with their presence alone, but now they've found a way to lure all those women towards them and ruin every other dudes chances of getting laid at the party. Well perhaps it's time to fight fire with fire, except we don't need any musical talent to pull this off anymore. It turns out with just three simple chords you can have all women you want. And the best part is, with these awesome instructions, you don't even have to know what your playing. Just let the chicks do all the work.
And if you're looking for more fatherly advice, check out last weeks article as well.
How To Properly Raise Children
Hi, welcome to learning how to Man up, Bro. Lesson number one - if a hippie beatnick is ruining your mojo, the last resort is to emulate said hippie beatnick. Dooshers who play the gee-tar at parties to get chicks should all be required to turn their balls in to higher authorities, one, so as to not pollute the human race with their girly little acoustic sperm, and two ... well, just because I said so. Damnit.
ReplyDeleteNo - Man up, Bro, remember? If you can't beat em, you don't join em, beat em Animal House style. All you need is a bottle of half drunk Jack Daniels and a pair of testicles: Simply walk over to aforementioned hippie dooshbag, snatch the guitar from his soft poetic hands, and then smash that shit into a million goddamn pieces in a fit of blind, animal rage. Once you come to your senses, hand him the stringy remains with a smile and an apology ... roll away ...
Geoffrey! I love the enthusiasm!! This is the kind of feedback that not only helps us make a better site, but helps men world wide Man Up! Tell us more about what you want to see on the internets manliest site by getting at us on twitter @manupbrotheblog or make some noise on our Facebook page. You sir are a true American hero.
ReplyDelete