Over the past few days, I was fortunate enough to experience a real mans vacation – a Roadtrip from Boston to Miami in the ultimate-badass 2009 C6 convertible Corvette. Aiming to break record time down the eastern seaboard, this adventure was nothing less than an absolute thrill. Luckily for you, I documented the entire trip, or at least the important parts.
11/23 8:05PM: Left Boston headed south towards NYC
9:35PM: Smoked a Nissan 350z through Hartford and when he took an early exit, I flipped him off.
10:15PM: Hit 115 mph.
2:10AM: Stopped in Philly for an extra large REAL Cheese Steak.
3:10AM: Hit 132 mph.
4:20AM: Breakfast at a Waffle House in Virginia. For a lack of a reference you would understand, a five-star quality breakfast.
Noon: Stopped in Myrtle Beach for a quick beach nap with the best sand pillow ever. Woke up with a big ass bag of fire works…
1:00PM: Taped three bottle rockets together, intertwined the wicks, and shot those bitches off over the ocean right after lunch on the beach.
1:20PM: Ran from the Myrtle Beach police.
4:00PM: Arrived in Charleston, got into a southern food eating competition and took down my little big brother for a free dinner.
7:00PM: Began bar hopping in Charleston, unfortunately the women have not been introduced to breast implants, so we left early.
12:00AM: Raced an M3, tricky fucker on his home turf lost us through traffic… so I flipped him off.
4:10AM: Arrived in Miami, home of partying, drugs, the best plastic surgeons.
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Sunday, November 28, 2010
32 ways of being an asshole to people
You only live once right? So what's stopping you from have a little fun and messin' with people while you're here on this earth?
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Saturday, November 27, 2010
Breaking News
If you're anything like me, then you hate every damn news report about absolutely nothing. Which unfortunately, is every news report. Every news report but one that is. Thankfully, The Onion is here to keep us up to date with all the heart stopping, breaking news. Enjoy.
Friday, November 26, 2010
Badass Gun Fight
Really not a whole lot to say about this one... other than it's completely Badass! Just sit back, relax, and enjoy 3 minutes of awesomeness.
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Make Your Thanksgiving Epic
Tired of that same old bird every Thanksgiving? Don't you feel that a day filled with football and booze should have an epic feast? Well check out this video and then go forth and make the most epic feast ever!!
Oh you're welcome...
Oh you're welcome...
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Look At This Dog
Real men don’t lose dogs and put up lame posters. They put up awesome posters showing the awesomeness of they’re pets.
photo by sugarfreak
via Laughing Squid
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Drunk History
It's a fact. We love history. We love it so much that every time we come across the History Channel, it sucks us in like a blackhole, losing complete track of time, forgetting about that home repair project that's been nagging at us all week, or pissing off our wives or girlfriends to no end because their existence had slipped our mind. Another thing we love... getting drunk. And so it seems that the comedy geniuses at Funny or Die had rolled together both of these amazing pass times into one. Each video is pure comedy gold and informative to boot, starring the likes of Will Ferrell, John C. Reilly, Jack Black, Danny McBride, and even Don Cheadle. If you haven't seen these already, please watch and enjoy. This kind of history can't be found in books.
Monday, November 22, 2010
How To Poop At Work
We've all been there but don't like to admit it. We've all kicked back in our cubicles and suddenly felt something brewing down below. As much as we try to convince ourselves otherwise, the WORK POOP is inevitable. For those who hate pooping at work, follow this Survival Guide to make your next poop awesome.
CROP DUSTING - When farting, you walk really fast around the office so the smell is not in your area and everyone else gets a whiff, but no one has any idea where it came from. Be careful when crop dusting, do not stop until the full fart has been expelled. Walk an extra 30 feet or so to ensure that the smell has left your pants.
FLY BY - The act of scouting out a bathroom before pooping. Walk in and check for other poopers; if there are others in the bathroom, leave and come back later. Be careful not to become a FREQUENT FLYER. People may become suspicious if they catch you constantly going into the bathroom.
ESCAPEE - A fart that slips out while taking a pee or forcing a poop in a stall. This is usually accompanied by a sudden wave of embarrassment. If you release an escapee, do not acknowledge it, pretend it did not happen. If you are standing next to the farter at the urnials, pretend you did not hear it. No one likes an escapee, it is uncomfortable for all involved. Making a joke or laughing will just make both parties feel uneasy.
JAILBREAK - When forcing a poop, several farts slip out at a machine gun pace. This is usually a side effect of diarrhea or a hangover. If this should happen, do not panic. Remain in the stall until everyone has left the bathroom to spare everyone the awkwardness of what just occurred.
COURTESY FLUSH - The act of flushing the toilet the instant the poop hits the water. This reduces the amount of air time the poop has to stink up the bathroom. This can help you avoid being caught doing the WALK OF SHAME.
WALK OF SHAME - Walking from the stall, to the sink, to the door after you have just stunk up the bathroom. This can be a very uncomfortable moment if someone walks in and busts you. As with farts, it is best to pretend that the smell does not exist. This can all be avoided with proper use of the COURTESY FLUSH.
OUT OF THE CLOSET POOPER - A colleague who poops at work and is proud of it. You will often see an out of the closet pooper enter the bathroom with a newspaper or magazine under their arm. Alwas look around the office for the out of closet pooper before entering the bathroom.
THE POOPING FRIENDS NETWORK (PFN) - A group of co-workers who band together to ensure emergency pooping goes of without incident. This group can help you monitor the whereabouts of OUT OF CLOSET POOPERS, and identify SAFE HAVENS.
SAFE HAVENS - A seldom used bathroom somewhere in the building where you can least expect visitors. Try floors that are predominantly of the opposite sex. This will reduce the odds of a TURD BURGLAR entering the bathroom.
TURD BURGLAR - Someone who does not realize you are in the stall and tries to force the door open. This is one of the most shocking and vulnerable moments that can occur when taking a poop at work. If this occurs, remain in the stall until he leaves. This way you will avoid all uncomfortable eye contact.
CAMO-COUGH - A phony cough that alerts all new entrants into the bathroom that you are in a stall. This can be used to cover up a WATERMELON, or alert potential TURD BURGLARS. Very effective when used in conjunction with a SHIRLEY TEMPLE.
SHIRLEY TEMPLE - A subtle toe-tapping that is used to alert potential TURD BURGLARS that you are occupying a stall. This will remove all doubt that the stall is occupied. If you hear a Shirley Temple, leave the bathroom immediately so the pooper can poop in peace.
WATERMELON - A poop that creates a loud splash when hitting the toilet water. This can be an immensely embarrassing incident. If you feel a watermelon coming on, create a diversion. See CAMO-COUGH.
HAVANA OMELET - A case of diarrhea that creates a series of loud splashes in the toilet water. Often accompanied by an ESCAPEE. Try using a CAMO-COUGH with a SHIRLEY TEMPLE.
AUNT-BETTY - A bathroom user who seems to linger around forever. Could spend extended lengths of time in front of the mirror or sitting on the pot. An Aunt-Betty makes it difficult to relax while on the crapper, as you should always wait to poop when the bathroom is empty. This benefits you as well as all other bathroom attendees.
Some varieties of poop you should be aware of:
The King Poop - This is the kind of poop that killed Elvis. It doesn't come until you're all sweaty, trembling, and purple from straining so hard.
Bali Belly Poop - You poop so much you lose 5 pounds.
Cement Block - You wish you'd gotten a spinal block before you poop.
Cork Poop (Aka The Floater Poop) - Even after the third flush it's still floating in there. Leaves you wondering, "How to hell do I get rid of this?!" This poop usually happens at someone else's house.
The Bungee Poop - The kind of poop that just hangs off your ass before it falls into the water.
The Crippler - The kind of poop where you have to sit on the toilet so long your body goes numb from your waist down.
The Chitty Chitty Bang Bang - This is the poop that hits you when you're trapped in your car in a traffic jam.
The Party Pooper - The giant poop you take at a party, and when you flush the toilet you watch in horror as the water starts to rise.
Source: Unknown
CROP DUSTING - When farting, you walk really fast around the office so the smell is not in your area and everyone else gets a whiff, but no one has any idea where it came from. Be careful when crop dusting, do not stop until the full fart has been expelled. Walk an extra 30 feet or so to ensure that the smell has left your pants.
FLY BY - The act of scouting out a bathroom before pooping. Walk in and check for other poopers; if there are others in the bathroom, leave and come back later. Be careful not to become a FREQUENT FLYER. People may become suspicious if they catch you constantly going into the bathroom.
ESCAPEE - A fart that slips out while taking a pee or forcing a poop in a stall. This is usually accompanied by a sudden wave of embarrassment. If you release an escapee, do not acknowledge it, pretend it did not happen. If you are standing next to the farter at the urnials, pretend you did not hear it. No one likes an escapee, it is uncomfortable for all involved. Making a joke or laughing will just make both parties feel uneasy.
JAILBREAK - When forcing a poop, several farts slip out at a machine gun pace. This is usually a side effect of diarrhea or a hangover. If this should happen, do not panic. Remain in the stall until everyone has left the bathroom to spare everyone the awkwardness of what just occurred.
COURTESY FLUSH - The act of flushing the toilet the instant the poop hits the water. This reduces the amount of air time the poop has to stink up the bathroom. This can help you avoid being caught doing the WALK OF SHAME.
WALK OF SHAME - Walking from the stall, to the sink, to the door after you have just stunk up the bathroom. This can be a very uncomfortable moment if someone walks in and busts you. As with farts, it is best to pretend that the smell does not exist. This can all be avoided with proper use of the COURTESY FLUSH.
OUT OF THE CLOSET POOPER - A colleague who poops at work and is proud of it. You will often see an out of the closet pooper enter the bathroom with a newspaper or magazine under their arm. Alwas look around the office for the out of closet pooper before entering the bathroom.
THE POOPING FRIENDS NETWORK (PFN) - A group of co-workers who band together to ensure emergency pooping goes of without incident. This group can help you monitor the whereabouts of OUT OF CLOSET POOPERS, and identify SAFE HAVENS.
SAFE HAVENS - A seldom used bathroom somewhere in the building where you can least expect visitors. Try floors that are predominantly of the opposite sex. This will reduce the odds of a TURD BURGLAR entering the bathroom.
TURD BURGLAR - Someone who does not realize you are in the stall and tries to force the door open. This is one of the most shocking and vulnerable moments that can occur when taking a poop at work. If this occurs, remain in the stall until he leaves. This way you will avoid all uncomfortable eye contact.
CAMO-COUGH - A phony cough that alerts all new entrants into the bathroom that you are in a stall. This can be used to cover up a WATERMELON, or alert potential TURD BURGLARS. Very effective when used in conjunction with a SHIRLEY TEMPLE.
SHIRLEY TEMPLE - A subtle toe-tapping that is used to alert potential TURD BURGLARS that you are occupying a stall. This will remove all doubt that the stall is occupied. If you hear a Shirley Temple, leave the bathroom immediately so the pooper can poop in peace.
WATERMELON - A poop that creates a loud splash when hitting the toilet water. This can be an immensely embarrassing incident. If you feel a watermelon coming on, create a diversion. See CAMO-COUGH.
HAVANA OMELET - A case of diarrhea that creates a series of loud splashes in the toilet water. Often accompanied by an ESCAPEE. Try using a CAMO-COUGH with a SHIRLEY TEMPLE.
AUNT-BETTY - A bathroom user who seems to linger around forever. Could spend extended lengths of time in front of the mirror or sitting on the pot. An Aunt-Betty makes it difficult to relax while on the crapper, as you should always wait to poop when the bathroom is empty. This benefits you as well as all other bathroom attendees.
Some varieties of poop you should be aware of:
The King Poop - This is the kind of poop that killed Elvis. It doesn't come until you're all sweaty, trembling, and purple from straining so hard.
Bali Belly Poop - You poop so much you lose 5 pounds.
Cement Block - You wish you'd gotten a spinal block before you poop.
Cork Poop (Aka The Floater Poop) - Even after the third flush it's still floating in there. Leaves you wondering, "How to hell do I get rid of this?!" This poop usually happens at someone else's house.
The Bungee Poop - The kind of poop that just hangs off your ass before it falls into the water.
The Crippler - The kind of poop where you have to sit on the toilet so long your body goes numb from your waist down.
The Chitty Chitty Bang Bang - This is the poop that hits you when you're trapped in your car in a traffic jam.
The Party Pooper - The giant poop you take at a party, and when you flush the toilet you watch in horror as the water starts to rise.
Source: Unknown
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Man Laws
From the International Council of Man Laws:
1: Under NO circumstances may two men share an umbrella.
2: It is OK for a man to cry under the following circumstances:
A: It is NEVER OK for a man to cry!
3: Any man who brings a camera to a stag night may be legally killed and eaten by his friends.
4: If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever; unless you actually marry her.
5: Moaning about the brand of beer in a buddy's fridge is forbidden. However, complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.
6: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your buddy's birthday is strictly optional. At that point, you must celebrate at a strip club of the birthday boy's choice.
7: On the road, the strongest bladder determines the pit stops, not the weakest.
8: When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.
9: You may fart in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment (aka: The Dutch Oven), she's officially your girlfriend.
10: It is permissible to drink a fruity alcoholic drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach... and it's delivered by a topless model... and it's free.
11: Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.
12: Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.
13: If a man's fly is down, that's his problem. You didn't see anything.
14: Women who claim they 'love to watch sports' must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.
15: A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.
16: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both. That's just greedy.
17: If you compliment a guy on his six pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer.
18: Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing i.e., both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.
19: Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if necessary.
20: The morning after you and a girl who was formerly 'just a friend' have carnal, drunken monkey sex; the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason for you not to nail her again before the discussion occurs about what a big mistake it was.
21: It is acceptable for you to driver her car. It is NOT acceptable for her to drive yours.
22: Thou shall not buy a car in the colors of brown, pink, lime green, or sky blue.
23: The girl who replies to the question 'What do you want for Christmas?' with 'If you loved me, you would know!' gets an Xbox 360. End of story.
24: There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men's Gymnastics. Ever.
25: We've all heard about people having guts or balls, but do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definitions are listed below:
GUTS - Arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the 'guts' to say, "Are you still cleaning or are you flying somewhere?"
BALLS - Coming home late after a night our with the guys smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife square on the ass and having the 'balls' to say, "You're next fatty!"
I hope this clears up any confusion. You're Welcome.
Source: Unknown
1: Under NO circumstances may two men share an umbrella.
2: It is OK for a man to cry under the following circumstances:
A: It is NEVER OK for a man to cry!
3: Any man who brings a camera to a stag night may be legally killed and eaten by his friends.
4: If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever; unless you actually marry her.
5: Moaning about the brand of beer in a buddy's fridge is forbidden. However, complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.
6: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your buddy's birthday is strictly optional. At that point, you must celebrate at a strip club of the birthday boy's choice.
7: On the road, the strongest bladder determines the pit stops, not the weakest.
8: When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.
9: You may fart in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment (aka: The Dutch Oven), she's officially your girlfriend.
10: It is permissible to drink a fruity alcoholic drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach... and it's delivered by a topless model... and it's free.
11: Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.
12: Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.
13: If a man's fly is down, that's his problem. You didn't see anything.
14: Women who claim they 'love to watch sports' must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.
15: A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.
16: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both. That's just greedy.
17: If you compliment a guy on his six pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer.
18: Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing i.e., both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.
19: Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if necessary.
20: The morning after you and a girl who was formerly 'just a friend' have carnal, drunken monkey sex; the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason for you not to nail her again before the discussion occurs about what a big mistake it was.
21: It is acceptable for you to driver her car. It is NOT acceptable for her to drive yours.
22: Thou shall not buy a car in the colors of brown, pink, lime green, or sky blue.
23: The girl who replies to the question 'What do you want for Christmas?' with 'If you loved me, you would know!' gets an Xbox 360. End of story.
24: There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men's Gymnastics. Ever.
25: We've all heard about people having guts or balls, but do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definitions are listed below:
GUTS - Arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the 'guts' to say, "Are you still cleaning or are you flying somewhere?"
BALLS - Coming home late after a night our with the guys smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife square on the ass and having the 'balls' to say, "You're next fatty!"
I hope this clears up any confusion. You're Welcome.
Source: Unknown
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Brew Your Own 4 Loko
Have no fear men! Despite the fact that many states are preparing to pull 4 Loko off the market, there's no reason to worry. Now with just a few simple ingredients you can brew your very own 4 Loko drink in any flavor you choose! Now go out and stock up on malt liquor so you can enjoy this sweet drink anytime!
Friday, November 19, 2010
How do you rank among the pack?
Gents, time to check yourself and find out which category you fall into. If you're not an Alpha plus then you've got a lot of work ahead of you. We, being Alpha males ourselves at MUB, think this is just entertaining and need no ranking system to tell us where we stand. But just maybe, some sorry soul will see this and reevaluate themselves; finding the drive to be the man they ought to be.
Source: www.eatliver.com
Source: www.eatliver.com
Thursday, November 18, 2010
A Real Man's Belt
Wish you could always have your tool belt on you? Well thanks to good men at '686' now you can! No longer must you wander the world without your trusty phillips head at your side. Can't find that damn bottle opener as your beer is getting warm? Look no further, your belt has you covered. This "man's belt" also comes equipped with a wrench loop and a flat head screwdriver as well.
Source: The Awesomer
Source: The Awesomer
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
4 Loko Challenge Fail
If this is what Assemblymen do, then sign me up! In this guys weak ass attempt to hurry along the ban on 4 loko's he took the challenge to see how much he could drink in an hour. It appears he couldn't even knock three full ones back, so whoever voted for this clown should be ashamed of themselves. I say we start our own movement to keep this sweet nectar on the market. Who's with me?!
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Every college fraternity has its hareem
By Bronco Hamilton
Every college fraternity across the country has a hareem made of readily available females, who, for whatever reason, love nothing more than to service the house and its brothers.
These females usually break down into three distinct groups; the girlfriends, the lil’ sisters, and the sluts.
The first group, the girlfriends, is self-explanatory. This set of women primarily consists of attractive, STD-free women who have fallen in love with the beer guzzling, letter-wearing men of a secret society in the hopes that someday these boys will grow up to be the successful lawyers and doctors like their daddies.
The truth is some frat-boys will become the men their girlfriends desire. But, many more will wind up unfaithful alcoholics, who eventually inherit their father’s business only to lose it in a messy divorce over some in-office skank, who “accidently”leaves behind some tell-tale sign of her presence in the family vehicle.(Because everyone remembers to get rid of the condom and the wrapper, but that foil piece you tear away always seems to turn up.)
The next group, is the lil’ sisters. It’s made of girls who are neither sluts, nor girlfriends. They remain without the boyfriends they desire for a few good reasons.
The first reason they remain single is the most noble; they are a brother’s ex-girlfriend. In these cases, nobody touches this girl no matter how hot she is because her ex-boyfriend is that well respected ... and he’ll kick anyone’s ass who thinks otherwise.
The second kind of lil’ sister is made of the unattractive, platonic, female friend, who does things like bring chicken soup and Gatorade to the sick fraternity brothers without girlfriends. They stick around in the hopes that one night one of the boys will be mature, or drunk enough to actually like a girl for her personality.
Whatever the reason for their lack of sexual appeal, these girls are harmless and useful. Every good house needs to keep a few of these chicks around for help with rush. Plus, they usually have hot friends.
Now for the group that needs no introduction… the sluts. House sluts are nothing new to the college scene. We’ve all seen them in action, hanging on a drunk, unsuspecting fraternity brother, who will eventually get ripped enough to let her go down on him in some obscure part of the house like the kitchen pantry, or the DJ booth. He will then be ridiculed by his peers, earning nicknames like, “Old Brother Cupboard” and “DJ Skeet.”
They’re sexual predators with no natural enemies, except the girlfriends. They show up late with excuses like, “My roommate and I were pre-gaming,” in the hopes that they can prey on the wasted fratboy. By 1 a.m., a slut’s prey has played so much “Beirut” that sleeping with a girl affectionately nick-named “Raw-Dawg,” or “Beat Meg,” seems to be a good idea.
Which brings me to my next point. Sluts aren’t always ugly, but they ALWAYS have a nickname. Sorry, dude. If you date a girl who used to be called “Sled,” or “Kerry-Go-Round,” you’re penis brothers with at least two Greek organizations.
So, the next time you’re balls-deep in some chick after a night of drinking games and grinding to booty classics like “Shake Dat Ass,” ask yourself which category does she fit into.
Every college fraternity across the country has a hareem made of readily available females, who, for whatever reason, love nothing more than to service the house and its brothers.These females usually break down into three distinct groups; the girlfriends, the lil’ sisters, and the sluts.
The first group, the girlfriends, is self-explanatory. This set of women primarily consists of attractive, STD-free women who have fallen in love with the beer guzzling, letter-wearing men of a secret society in the hopes that someday these boys will grow up to be the successful lawyers and doctors like their daddies.
The truth is some frat-boys will become the men their girlfriends desire. But, many more will wind up unfaithful alcoholics, who eventually inherit their father’s business only to lose it in a messy divorce over some in-office skank, who “accidently”leaves behind some tell-tale sign of her presence in the family vehicle.(Because everyone remembers to get rid of the condom and the wrapper, but that foil piece you tear away always seems to turn up.)
The next group, is the lil’ sisters. It’s made of girls who are neither sluts, nor girlfriends. They remain without the boyfriends they desire for a few good reasons.
The first reason they remain single is the most noble; they are a brother’s ex-girlfriend. In these cases, nobody touches this girl no matter how hot she is because her ex-boyfriend is that well respected ... and he’ll kick anyone’s ass who thinks otherwise.The second kind of lil’ sister is made of the unattractive, platonic, female friend, who does things like bring chicken soup and Gatorade to the sick fraternity brothers without girlfriends. They stick around in the hopes that one night one of the boys will be mature, or drunk enough to actually like a girl for her personality.
Whatever the reason for their lack of sexual appeal, these girls are harmless and useful. Every good house needs to keep a few of these chicks around for help with rush. Plus, they usually have hot friends.
Now for the group that needs no introduction… the sluts. House sluts are nothing new to the college scene. We’ve all seen them in action, hanging on a drunk, unsuspecting fraternity brother, who will eventually get ripped enough to let her go down on him in some obscure part of the house like the kitchen pantry, or the DJ booth. He will then be ridiculed by his peers, earning nicknames like, “Old Brother Cupboard” and “DJ Skeet.”
They’re sexual predators with no natural enemies, except the girlfriends. They show up late with excuses like, “My roommate and I were pre-gaming,” in the hopes that they can prey on the wasted fratboy. By 1 a.m., a slut’s prey has played so much “Beirut” that sleeping with a girl affectionately nick-named “Raw-Dawg,” or “Beat Meg,” seems to be a good idea.
Which brings me to my next point. Sluts aren’t always ugly, but they ALWAYS have a nickname. Sorry, dude. If you date a girl who used to be called “Sled,” or “Kerry-Go-Round,” you’re penis brothers with at least two Greek organizations.So, the next time you’re balls-deep in some chick after a night of drinking games and grinding to booty classics like “Shake Dat Ass,” ask yourself which category does she fit into.
Monday, November 15, 2010
Check Out These Coconuts
I think we can all agree that the old spice man is awesome. I also think we can all agree that we'd rather watch this chick climb out of our shower instead. I'm not entirely sure what "Page 3" is, but at the same time I don't care. Just check out those sweet coconuts!
Sunday, November 14, 2010
This ain't like the childhood hobby you remember
I'm sure a lot of us as kids went through a phase of building model muscle cars, World War II airplanes, and/or remote control monster trucks. My younger brother and I were into the RC monster trucks at 11 and 12 years old. Together, we built a beast of a machine from the ground up and costume painted the body with mothafuckin' skulls all over it. It was glorious. Every day after school we'd hurry home to take our truck out to a nearby subdivision construction site where we built trails and jumps in the dirt. And each day the jumps got bigger and bigger, until we pushed the limit when we jumped it off a cliff and the thing exploded in a beautiful blaze of glory. A moment that any adolescent boy could be proud of. But now we are grown men. We still went on to build things and make things explode on a much larger scale, but the days of playing with remote control vehicles are long gone... until now. After seeing this video, my inner-child is crying out, "I want that!" The video is a little long (about 6 minutes), but watch in awe as this RC turbine-powered jet screams across the sky at 366 miles-per-hour and think, "what skills you must have to perform such a feat." Amazing. Definitely no kid's hobby. I think building models just got badass again. Now all we need to do is get two of these birds in the sky with mounted pellet machine guns and get a dog fight going. That would be epic.
Friday, November 12, 2010
You won't see this on UFC
Ah, Thailand. The land of Thai. The land of flashy neon lights, discothèques, go-go dancers, and of course, Mauy Thai boxing. Some of Thailand's most popular destinations are like the dirtier, meaner, uglier long-distant cousins of Las Vegas. In fact, they can make Vegas seem like Disneyland in comparison. They've got the games, the girls, the fights, the crime, and all the charm of the third-world... they are true sin cities. Travel to one of these places and you'll find narrow streets lined with open-spaced bars packed with women, tourists, and with every so few of them, two dudes fighting it out in a boxing ring. Being the birthplace of Muay Thai and the inspiration of mixed martial arts you couldn't expect anything less. But it seems Thailand has turned it up a notch. Watch as these fighters beat the living shit out of each other where they stand. It's a little WWE for my taste, but badass nonetheless. If it were me, it would be knuckles dipped in glue and glass. Now that would be a fight.
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Sexist or Funny?
You be the judge of this one. Personally, I just think it's hilarious. But leave your own thoughts below.
Source: DailyShite
Source: DailyShite
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Miles by the Gallon
Who says Hummers can't be fuel efficient? It just depends on how you drive them! Next time your looking for a new whip, show grandma her options and explain how ignoring road signs can improve your gas mileage! Check it out! Note: Man Up Bro team does not recommend ignoring road signs.
http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1923340
http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1923340
20 photos of dogs at the bar
It's no surprise that dogs are awesome. They follow your every move, keep the kitchen floors(and counters)clear of food, obey all your commands, always up for a game of catch, and they're always ready to lunge for the jugular of someone you don't like. But who ever said that man's best friend can't be man's best drinking buddy. Here are 20 photos of some of the coolest dogs enjoying drinks at the bar.
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Saturday, November 6, 2010
Drink for America... Drink PBR
Has the economy got you down? Feel like your country is being taken from you? Do the words "foreign policy" get your red American blood boiling, or you just flat out fear the worst for our country's future? Not to worry, all hope isn't lost. Just crack open a frosty red, white and blue can of PBR, and help save America. Take it from Tom Raper, American citizen. If you don't, you're probably a terrorist.
Thursday, November 4, 2010
.50 Cal William Tell
As men we'll do just about anything to prove we're ballsier than the next guy. But no one, and I mean no one, has bigger balls than this dude. To the untrained eye he may not look like much, but let me see you put a watermelon on your head then let some bro head out 200 yards with his faithful .50 Cal sniper rifle to go William Tell all over your ass. Yea, count me out, especially when the trigger man feels the need to apologize when firing.
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Macho Salad
Looking for something on the lighter side for lunch today? But are you afraid going for that salad will make you look like less of man? Well it will... unless you follow suit with the dude in this video. Despite being a man, we can't eat steaks and McRibs all the time. So next time you wanna go green, do it the badass way and enjoy yourself a Macho Salad.
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