The Bermuda Triangle

Its been recorded that men over time have been lost in this natures unknown.

Christmas Tree Rocketry

As the holiday season starts to come to a close, it's about time you find a responsible way to dispose of your Christmas tree this year. And lucky for you, I have the perfect solution... blow that shit up! This wonderful video will demonstrate how to turn your boring tree into a sweet rocket propelled, flaming projectile. Just another reason to love the holidays!

Did You Get Your Hand Job For Christmas?

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

COD: Live Action Warfare

Do you love Call of Duty? Then you're absolutely going to love their next installment. Forget about those lame controllers, and put yourself in the line of fire! Alright, so this obviously isn't real, but wouldn't it be awesome to be able to knife your buddies with no real consequences?

Parents Take Notice

Everyone should know the basic do's and don'ts of holiday gift giving. Unfortunately, all too often parents drop the ball. C'mon now, with all the cool ass technology and awesome toys that even at my age I'm tempted to play with, why on earth would you punish your children with horrible gifts. So take notice parents, ugly sweaters and educational material is strictly unacceptable. And don't take my word for it, just watch the disappointment on this poor kids face.

Sexist Or Science?

It's pretty hard to argue with the concrete evidence supplied by this educational video. But despite the facts, I'm going to open the floor up to you guys... How awesome is this video?!

The Most Awesome 450 Page Presentation Ever

Having trouble holding the office's attention during presentations? Maybe you should Man Up and make your next powerpoint badass! That's what these guys did, and the title doesn't lie. This is the most awesome 450 page presentation ever.

The Brothers Mario

Do feel like your too old for the classics? Well WTF is wrong with you? Mario will always be awesome in my book. But for those of you who don't agree, maybe you should check out this new Mario, made for the modern age man. These guys are great examples for your kids.

Now that's a BOOMSTICK!

This ain't your grandaddy's shotgun... nine rounds of hi-brass badass you'll never see because you're blinded by a flashlight 100,000x brighter than the sun. But that won't matter 'cause the 37mm round will leave a hole that a football can pass through without touching meat. Oh yeah, did I mention you can buy this at the local gun shop when you turn 18. Definitely the weapon of choice for the zombie apocalypse.

Via: elitetacticaladvantage.com

Know Your Hobo Signs

Making travel plans this holiday season? Well before you start your road trip you better study up on your symbolism. It's never a bad a idea to know where you can get a free meal, or phone call, or find an easy mark. Check out all 50 need to know hobo signs below.

	1. Good road to follow
	2. Religious talk will get you a free meal
	3. These people are rich (Silk hat and pile of gold)
	4. Camp here
	5. You may sleep in the hayloft here
	6. Warning: Barking Dog
	7. House is well-guarded
	8. This is not a safe place
	9. Good food available here, but you have to work for it
	10. If you are sick, they'll care for you here

If Facebook Were Invented Sooner

Ever wonder what the world would've been like if everyone and everything was always connected? Well here's your answer, men.




Source: Cool Material

Things Your Dad Should've Taught You

In an attempt to catch up on several weeks of this category, I thought I'd try to please everyone with several life lessons. Just click "Read More" below to see how to deal with every possible life problem you could ever encounter. You're welcome.

Instant Virgin Detector

The hover hand, an instant indicator that a male has yet to enter into manhood. At first, my reaction when seeing this was "WTF?!" but it's clear that these poor souls are in a sad state of affairs. There should be some sort of foundation or 12-step man program to help them overcome this sorry condition... preferably involving strippers, booze, and a street fight or two. Fellas, it's a long shot, but we just might be able to make you into men after all.

Get Rich Quick

We all want to, but no one quite knows how to do it. However, I think this Craig Rowin dude might be onto something. Check out his original plea and his updated version below. And let us know what you think, is this guy a genius? Or just a lazy panhandler?

Original:




Updated:

Vote for Sexiest Police Woman on the Planet

These "Ladies in Blue" not only serve and protect, but they look good while doing it. And to be honest, I wouldn't mind getting handcuffed and locked up by these law enforcement beauties... Sweetheart, You had me at, "You have the right to remain silent."

So here we have some of world's hottest police women, and now it's time to put it to a vote of which one is the sexiest on the planet. Make your voice heard, you know you want to.

USA

Watch Your Balls...

Whoever is in charge of the label maker here needs to choose their words more carefully. No amount of potential Beer Pong is worth that risk.

Scientists Are Bad-Ass

Yea I said it. Apparently all those brains can be put to good use after all. Don't believe me? The proof is in the video. Enjoy.

Customer Service At Its Finest

I'm still not sure who's more awesome, this Mr. Haberny guy or the angry people at Cash4Gold. While his demands may have been a bit outrageous, I'm sure a simple 'NO' would've sufficed.

Henry Rollins Investigates Anger, Violence, and the ‘Warrior Gene’

Henry Rollins is one mean, tough son of a bitch. On stage, he's been burned, stabbed, hit, kicked, and god only knows. There's no doubt in my mind that this man wakes up and pisses intensity every morning. If you know anything about the Black Flag frontman, then you know he is rage incarnate. Now in attempt to discover the stuff that he's made of, Henry Rollins and National Geographic delve into the dark side of man to try and understand the secrets of anger, violence and the "Warrior Gene." Definitely a program, "Man Up, Bro!" approved. Now ask yourself, do you have the killer instinct?

Men Down!

Well, it's been brought to my attention that we've been neglecting our Man Down posts. In an attempt to make amends, I give you a compilation of epic fails from all of November. Enjoy the pain Men!

Extreme Shaving

The world of ultimate sports has been taken to a new level...

See how millions of men (only one actually) are attempting to boost their manly hood by shaving with an industrial sander.

A Man's BA Roadtrip

Over the past few days, I was fortunate enough to experience a real mans vacation – a Roadtrip from Boston to Miami in the ultimate-badass 2009 C6 convertible Corvette. Aiming to break record time down the eastern seaboard, this adventure was nothing less than an absolute thrill. Luckily for you, I documented the entire trip, or at least the important parts.

11/23 8:05PM: Left Boston headed south towards NYC
9:35PM: Smoked a Nissan 350z through Hartford and when he took an early exit, I flipped him off.
10:15PM: Hit 115 mph.
2:10AM: Stopped in Philly for an extra large REAL Cheese Steak.
3:10AM: Hit 132 mph.
4:20AM: Breakfast at a Waffle House in Virginia. For a lack of a reference you would understand, a five-star quality breakfast.
Noon: Stopped in Myrtle Beach for a quick beach nap with the best sand pillow ever. Woke up with a big ass bag of fire works…
1:00PM: Taped three bottle rockets together, intertwined the wicks, and shot those bitches off over the ocean right after lunch on the beach.
1:20PM: Ran from the Myrtle Beach police.
4:00PM: Arrived in Charleston, got into a southern food eating competition and took down my little big brother for a free dinner.
7:00PM: Began bar hopping in Charleston, unfortunately the women have not been introduced to breast implants, so we left early.
12:00AM: Raced an M3, tricky fucker on his home turf lost us through traffic… so I flipped him off.
4:10AM: Arrived in Miami, home of partying, drugs, the best plastic surgeons.

32 ways of being an asshole to people

You only live once right? So what's stopping you from have a little fun and messin' with people while you're here on this earth?

Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors." Specify that your drive-through order is "TO-GO." If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up." Reply to everything someone says with "that's what you think." Practice making fax and modem noises. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc" them to your boss. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.

Breaking News

If you're anything like me, then you hate every damn news report about absolutely nothing. Which unfortunately, is every news report. Every news report but one that is. Thankfully, The Onion is here to keep us up to date with all the heart stopping, breaking news. Enjoy.

Badass Gun Fight

Really not a whole lot to say about this one... other than it's completely Badass! Just sit back, relax, and enjoy 3 minutes of awesomeness.

Make Your Thanksgiving Epic

Tired of that same old bird every Thanksgiving? Don't you feel that a day filled with football and booze should have an epic feast? Well check out this video and then go forth and make the most epic feast ever!!




Oh you're welcome...

Look At This Dog

Real men don’t lose dogs and put up lame posters. They put up awesome posters showing the awesomeness of they’re pets.

 
photo by sugarfreak
via Laughing Squid

Drunk History

It's a fact. We love history. We love it so much that every time we come across the History Channel, it sucks us in like a blackhole, losing complete track of time, forgetting about that home repair project that's been nagging at us all week, or pissing off our wives or girlfriends to no end because their existence had slipped our mind. Another thing we love... getting drunk. And so it seems that the comedy geniuses at Funny or Die had rolled together both of these amazing pass times into one. Each video is pure comedy gold and informative to boot, starring the likes of Will Ferrell, John C. Reilly, Jack Black, Danny McBride, and even Don Cheadle. If you haven't seen these already, please watch and enjoy. This kind of history can't be found in books.

How To Poop At Work

We've all been there but don't like to admit it. We've all kicked back in our cubicles and suddenly felt something brewing down below. As much as we try to convince ourselves otherwise, the WORK POOP is inevitable. For those who hate pooping at work, follow this Survival Guide to make your next poop awesome.

CROP DUSTING - When farting, you walk really fast around the office so the smell is not in your area and everyone else gets a whiff, but no one has any idea where it came from. Be careful when crop dusting, do not stop until the full fart has been expelled. Walk an extra 30 feet or so to ensure that the smell has left your pants.

FLY BY - The act of scouting out a bathroom before pooping. Walk in and check for other poopers; if there are others in the bathroom, leave and come back later. Be careful not to become a FREQUENT FLYER. People may become suspicious if they catch you constantly going into the bathroom.

ESCAPEE - A fart that slips out while taking a pee or forcing a poop in a stall. This is usually accompanied by a sudden wave of embarrassment. If you release an escapee, do not acknowledge it, pretend it did not happen. If you are standing next to the farter at the urnials, pretend you did not hear it. No one likes an escapee, it is uncomfortable for all involved. Making a joke or laughing will just make both parties feel uneasy.

JAILBREAK - When forcing a poop, several farts slip out at a machine gun pace. This is usually a side effect of diarrhea or a hangover. If this should happen, do not panic. Remain in the stall until everyone has left the bathroom to spare everyone the awkwardness of what just occurred.

COURTESY FLUSH - The act of flushing the toilet the instant the poop hits the water. This reduces the amount of air time the poop has to stink up the bathroom. This can help you avoid being caught doing the WALK OF SHAME.

WALK OF SHAME - Walking from the stall, to the sink, to the door after you have just stunk up the bathroom. This can be a very uncomfortable moment if someone walks in and busts you. As with farts, it is best to pretend that the smell does not exist. This can all be avoided with proper use of the COURTESY FLUSH.

OUT OF THE CLOSET POOPER - A colleague who poops at work and is proud of it. You will often see an out of the closet pooper enter the bathroom with a newspaper or magazine under their arm. Alwas look around the office for the out of closet pooper before entering the bathroom.

THE POOPING FRIENDS NETWORK (PFN) - A group of co-workers who band together to ensure emergency pooping goes of without incident. This group can help you monitor the whereabouts of OUT OF CLOSET POOPERS, and identify SAFE HAVENS.

SAFE HAVENS - A seldom used bathroom somewhere in the building where you can least expect visitors. Try floors that are predominantly of the opposite sex. This will reduce the odds of a TURD BURGLAR entering the bathroom.

TURD BURGLAR - Someone who does not realize you are in the stall and tries to force the door open. This is one of the most shocking and vulnerable moments that can occur when taking a poop at work. If this occurs, remain in the stall until he leaves. This way you will avoid all uncomfortable eye contact.

CAMO-COUGH  - A phony cough that alerts all new entrants into the bathroom that you are in a stall. This can be used to cover up a WATERMELON, or alert potential TURD BURGLARS. Very effective when used in conjunction with a SHIRLEY TEMPLE.

SHIRLEY TEMPLE - A subtle toe-tapping that is used to alert potential TURD BURGLARS that you are occupying a stall. This will remove all doubt that the stall is occupied. If you hear a Shirley Temple, leave the bathroom immediately so the pooper can poop in peace.

WATERMELON - A poop that creates a loud splash when hitting the toilet water. This can be an immensely embarrassing incident. If you feel a watermelon coming on, create a diversion. See CAMO-COUGH.

HAVANA OMELET - A case of diarrhea that creates a series of loud splashes in the toilet water. Often accompanied by an ESCAPEE. Try using a CAMO-COUGH with a SHIRLEY TEMPLE.

AUNT-BETTY - A bathroom user who seems to linger around forever. Could spend extended lengths of time in front of the mirror or sitting on the pot. An Aunt-Betty makes it difficult to relax while on the crapper, as you should always wait to poop when the bathroom is empty. This benefits you as well as all other bathroom attendees.

Some varieties of poop you should be aware of:

The King Poop - This is the kind of poop that killed Elvis. It doesn't come until you're all sweaty, trembling, and purple from straining so hard.

Bali Belly Poop - You poop so much you lose 5 pounds.

Cement Block - You wish you'd gotten a spinal block before you poop.

Cork Poop (Aka The Floater Poop) - Even after the third flush it's still floating in there. Leaves you wondering, "How to hell do I get rid of this?!" This poop usually happens at someone else's house.

The Bungee Poop - The kind of poop that just hangs off your ass before it falls into the water.

The Crippler - The kind of poop where you have to sit on the toilet so long your body goes numb from your waist down.

The Chitty Chitty Bang Bang - This is the poop that hits you when you're trapped in your car in a traffic jam.

The Party Pooper - The giant poop you take at a party, and when you flush the toilet you watch in horror as the water starts to rise.



Source: Unknown

Man Laws

From the International Council of Man Laws:

1: Under NO circumstances may two men share an umbrella.
2: It is OK for a man to cry under the following circumstances:
       A: It is NEVER OK for a man to cry!
3: Any man who brings a camera to a stag night may be legally killed and eaten by his friends.
4: If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever; unless you actually marry her.
5: Moaning about the brand of beer in a buddy's fridge is forbidden. However, complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.

6: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your buddy's birthday is strictly optional. At that point, you must celebrate at a strip club of the birthday boy's choice.
7: On the road, the strongest bladder determines the pit stops, not the weakest.
8: When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.
9: You may fart in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment (aka: The Dutch Oven), she's officially your girlfriend.
10: It is permissible to drink a fruity alcoholic drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach... and it's delivered by a topless model... and it's free.

11: Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.
12: Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.
13: If a man's fly is down, that's his problem. You didn't see anything.
14: Women who claim they 'love to watch sports' must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.
15: A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.

16: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both. That's just greedy.
17: If you compliment a guy on his six pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer.
18: Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing i.e., both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.
19: Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if necessary.
20: The morning after you and a girl who was formerly 'just a friend' have carnal, drunken monkey sex; the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason for you not to nail her again before the discussion occurs about what a big mistake it was.

21: It is acceptable for you to driver her car. It is NOT acceptable for her to drive yours.
22: Thou shall not buy a car in the colors of brown, pink, lime green, or sky blue.
23: The girl who replies to the question 'What do you want for Christmas?' with 'If you loved me, you would know!' gets an Xbox 360. End of story.
24: There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men's Gymnastics. Ever.
25: We've all heard about people having guts or balls, but do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definitions are listed below:

GUTS - Arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the 'guts' to say, "Are you still cleaning or are you flying somewhere?"

BALLS - Coming home late after a night our with the guys smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife square on the ass and having the 'balls' to say, "You're next fatty!"

I hope this clears up any confusion. You're Welcome.


Source: Unknown

Brew Your Own 4 Loko

Have no fear men! Despite the fact that many states are preparing to pull 4 Loko off the market, there's no reason to worry. Now with just a few simple ingredients you can brew your very own 4 Loko drink in any flavor you choose! Now go out and stock up on malt liquor so you can enjoy this sweet drink anytime!

How do you rank among the pack?

Gents, time to check yourself and find out which category you fall into. If you're not an Alpha plus then you've got a lot of work ahead of you. We, being Alpha males ourselves at MUB, think this is just entertaining and need no ranking system to tell us where we stand. But just maybe, some sorry soul will see this and reevaluate themselves; finding the drive to be the man they ought to be.


Source: www.eatliver.com

A Real Man's Belt

Wish you could always have your tool belt on you? Well thanks to good men at '686' now you can! No longer must you wander the world without your trusty phillips head at your side. Can't find that damn bottle opener as your beer is getting warm? Look no further, your belt has you covered. This "man's belt" also comes equipped with a wrench loop and a flat head screwdriver as well.

Source: The Awesomer

4 Loko Challenge Fail

If this is what Assemblymen do, then sign me up! In this guys weak ass attempt to hurry along the ban on 4 loko's he took the challenge to see how much he could drink in an hour. It appears he couldn't even knock three full ones back, so whoever voted for this clown should be ashamed of themselves. I say we start our own movement to keep this sweet nectar on the market. Who's with me?!

Every college fraternity has its hareem

By Bronco Hamilton

Every college fraternity across the country has a hareem made of readily available females, who, for whatever reason, love nothing more than to service the house and its brothers.
These females usually break down into three distinct groups; the girlfriends, the lil’ sisters, and the sluts.
The first group, the girlfriends, is self-explanatory. This set of women primarily consists of attractive, STD-free women who have fallen in love with the beer guzzling, letter-wearing men of a secret society in the hopes that someday these boys will grow up to be the successful lawyers and doctors like their daddies.
The truth is some frat-boys will become the men their girlfriends desire. But, many more will wind up unfaithful alcoholics, who eventually inherit their father’s business only to lose it in a messy divorce over some in-office skank, who “accidently”leaves behind some tell-tale sign of her presence in the family vehicle.(Because everyone remembers to get rid of the condom and the wrapper, but that foil piece you tear away always seems to turn up.)
The next group, is the lil’ sisters. It’s made of girls who are neither sluts, nor girlfriends. They remain without the boyfriends they desire for a few good reasons.
The first reason they remain single is the most noble; they are a brother’s ex-girlfriend. In these cases, nobody touches this girl no matter how hot she is because her ex-boyfriend is that well respected ... and he’ll kick anyone’s ass who thinks otherwise.
The second kind of lil’ sister is made of the unattractive, platonic, female friend, who does things like bring chicken soup and Gatorade to the sick fraternity brothers without girlfriends. They stick around in the hopes that one night one of the boys will be mature, or drunk enough to actually like a girl for her personality.
Whatever the reason for their lack of sexual appeal, these girls are harmless and useful. Every good house needs to keep a few of these chicks around for help with rush. Plus, they usually have hot friends.
Now for the group that needs no introduction… the sluts. House sluts are nothing new to the college scene. We’ve all seen them in action, hanging on a drunk, unsuspecting fraternity brother, who will eventually get ripped enough to let her go down on him in some obscure part of the house like the kitchen pantry, or the DJ booth. He will then be ridiculed by his peers, earning nicknames like, “Old Brother Cupboard” and “DJ Skeet.”
They’re sexual predators with no natural enemies, except the girlfriends. They show up late with excuses like, “My roommate and I were pre-gaming,” in the hopes that they can prey on the wasted fratboy. By 1 a.m., a slut’s prey has played so much “Beirut” that sleeping with a girl affectionately nick-named “Raw-Dawg,” or “Beat Meg,” seems to be a good idea.
Which brings me to my next point. Sluts aren’t always ugly, but they ALWAYS have a nickname. Sorry, dude. If you date a girl who used to be called “Sled,” or “Kerry-Go-Round,” you’re penis brothers with at least two Greek organizations.
So, the next time you’re balls-deep in some chick after a night of drinking games and grinding to booty classics like “Shake Dat Ass,” ask yourself which category does she fit into.

Check Out These Coconuts

I think we can all agree that the old spice man is awesome. I also think we can all agree that we'd rather watch this chick climb out of our shower instead. I'm not entirely sure what "Page 3" is, but at the same time I don't care. Just check out those sweet coconuts!

This ain't like the childhood hobby you remember

I'm sure a lot of us as kids went through a phase of building model muscle cars, World War II airplanes, and/or remote control monster trucks. My younger brother and I were into the RC monster trucks at 11 and 12 years old. Together, we built a beast of a machine from the ground up and costume painted the body with mothafuckin' skulls all over it. It was glorious. Every day after school we'd hurry home to take our truck out to a nearby subdivision construction site where we built trails and jumps in the dirt. And each day the jumps got bigger and bigger, until we pushed the limit when we jumped it off a cliff and the thing exploded in a beautiful blaze of glory. A moment that any adolescent boy could be proud of. But now we are grown men. We still went on to build things and make things explode on a much larger scale, but the days of playing with remote control vehicles are long gone... until now. After seeing this video, my inner-child is crying out, "I want that!" The video is a little long (about 6 minutes), but watch in awe as this RC turbine-powered jet screams across the sky at 366 miles-per-hour and think, "what skills you must have to perform such a feat." Amazing. Definitely no kid's hobby. I think building models just got badass again. Now all we need to do is get two of these birds in the sky with mounted pellet machine guns and get a dog fight going. That would be epic.

You won't see this on UFC

Ah, Thailand. The land of Thai. The land of flashy neon lights, discothèques, go-go dancers, and of course, Mauy Thai boxing. Some of Thailand's most popular destinations are like the dirtier, meaner, uglier long-distant cousins of Las Vegas. In fact, they can make Vegas seem like Disneyland in comparison. They've got the games, the girls, the fights, the crime, and all the charm of the third-world... they are true sin cities. Travel to one of these places and you'll find narrow streets lined with open-spaced bars packed with women, tourists, and with every so few of them, two dudes fighting it out in a boxing ring. Being the birthplace of Muay Thai and the inspiration of mixed martial arts you couldn't expect anything less. But it seems Thailand has turned it up a notch. Watch as these fighters beat the living shit out of each other where they stand. It's a little WWE for my taste, but badass nonetheless. If it were me, it would be knuckles dipped in glue and glass. Now that would be a fight.

Sexist or Funny?

You be the judge of this one. Personally, I just think it's hilarious. But leave your own thoughts below.

Source: DailyShite

Miles by the Gallon

Who says Hummers can't be fuel efficient? It just depends on how you drive them! Next time your looking for a new whip, show grandma her options and explain how ignoring road signs can improve your gas mileage! Check it out! Note: Man Up Bro team does not recommend ignoring road signs.

http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1923340

20 photos of dogs at the bar

It's no surprise that dogs are awesome. They follow your every move, keep the kitchen floors(and counters)clear of food, obey all your commands, always up for a game of catch, and they're always ready to lunge for the jugular of someone you don't like. But who ever said that man's best friend can't be man's best drinking buddy. Here are 20 photos of some of the coolest dogs enjoying drinks at the bar.


1.)
2.)

Drink for America... Drink PBR

Has the economy got you down? Feel like your country is being taken from you? Do the words "foreign policy" get your red American blood boiling, or you just flat out fear the worst for our country's future? Not to worry, all hope isn't lost. Just crack open a frosty red, white and blue can of PBR, and help save America. Take it from Tom Raper, American citizen. If you don't, you're probably a terrorist.

.50 Cal William Tell

As men we'll do just about anything to prove we're ballsier than the next guy. But no one, and I mean no one, has bigger balls than this dude. To the untrained eye he may not look like much, but let me see you put a watermelon on your head then let some bro head out 200 yards with his faithful .50 Cal sniper rifle to go William Tell all over your ass. Yea, count me out, especially when the trigger man feels the need to apologize when firing.

Macho Salad

Looking for something on the lighter side for lunch today? But are you afraid going for that salad will make you look like less of man? Well it will... unless you follow suit with the dude in this video. Despite being a man, we can't eat steaks and McRibs all the time. So next time you wanna go green, do it the badass way and enjoy yourself a Macho Salad.

Texas Chainsaw Dad is a dick

What's the best way to ensure that your kids will need countless hours of therapy, a life-long fear of murderous clowns, and hate you for years to come? Scaring them shitless with a chainsaw and mask of course! Props to you, sir. Your execution was of high standard. The 2010 "Sick and Twisted Father Award" goes to you my good man.

Carve a pumpkin like a real man

Pumpkin carving has been an age-old tradition for the spooky season; and a messy, time consuming one at that. Now gutting that jack-o-lantern just got a lot cooler as youtube user hickok45 demonstrates with his .40 caliber glock. All it takes are a couple of clips, a crack shot, and you've got yourself a real man's spooky jack. Now insert flame, place on porch, get settled in your lawn chair, and begin handing out hollow points to all those cute and creepy little trick-or-treaters.

Need a costume idea?

Is time running out and you still don't have a costume put together for that party this weekend? Well, MUB has just the solution for you... Dicktowel! It's funny, functional, and sexual. You'll be the life of the party for sure with "Dicktowel!" No need for makeup, props or accessories. You just wrap it around your waist and you're good to go. Show up to that super awesome Halloween party, dance your dicktowel off, and you'll for sure hook up with that slutty nurse who has already slept with all your friends in the years past. Dicktowel! Order one now... duuuude.




Link: The Official "DickTowel" website

Editor's note: We at "Man Up, Bro!" cannot guarantee that dicktowel will make you cool, the life of the party, or get you laid by that slutty nurse. In fact, you probably will look like an idiot, everyone will laugh at you, and the slutty nurse just might kick you in the dicktowel for trying to approach her.

Man Down

Got friends? This guy doesn't. If you ever find yourself in a One Man Band then you should probably reconsider how you spend your afternoons. Yes, it's hard being one of us, but that's why the society of man created social standards, so we can avoid situations like these. With that said, man down bro! Side Note: Please do not confuse a One Man Band with a One Man Wolfpack, two totally separate things.

Father Of The Year

Kids will believe just about anything. And it's about time someone took advantage of that. That's why this dude is Father of the year in my book. So next time your kids are pissing you off, or you're stuck watching someone else's kids and feel like possibly screwing them up for life, take a page out of this guy's book.

Now This Is Fantasy Football

With a lockout looming in the NFL, it' time to start searching for a new high contact sport to keep your minds satisfied next season. But be warned, you may not want to watch regular football again. Seriously, would you rather watch a horde of 300 pound sweaty men with wedgies stumbling around, or these sexy women clad only in lingerie and minimum padding? I think the choice is obvious.

Badass of the Week - Are you kidding me?

Every now and then i'll witness the ninjas splitting concrete blocks, the sword and fire swallower’s, the guys who drench themselves in gasoline, the Jabroni’s (Always Sunny reference for those of you that are cool) who walk across glass, the dudes that drive cars off cliffs, jump out of airplanes without a parachute, travel to the moon on a Sunday’s, and those who building jump, you know, the chill stuff…but never, never have I seen a badass who can take a blow to the cash and prizes like this one…

Topless Trims... A little more off the top, please!

Welcome to Hot Cuts, the topless barbershop in Australia where you can get more than just a hair cut.
Hot Cuts owner, Wojtek Wasilewski, is a visionary. He took two great things that are manly and put them together like PB&J. The strip club and the barbershop. Even though it took him 18 months to find employees who were willing to cut hair topless, his brilliance has paid off.
“I wanted to make the salon like a gentlemen's club. Business is booming. The phone has been ringing off the hook. I'm not surprised. They are stunning girls,” Wasilewski said.


Yeah, I'd be pitching a tent in that barber's chair for sure. Unfortunately, my current barber is an older woman who may or may not have been a Sid Vicious or Iggy Pop groupie back in the 70's-80's and enjoys the occasional conversations of neighborhood gossip, government conspiracies, Native American spiritual practices and the existence of extraterrestrials. Doesn't seem the drugs have worn off yet after all these years, or the purple dye in her hair. On second thought, that's not really unfortunate at all. It's actually kind of awesome. But being in a trance by a nice pair of bouncing betties while getting a haircut is pretty awesome too. If only I had the best of both worlds. No, no... don't go there. You just did, didn't you. Aghhh! Mental picture. I'm ruined.

Well, while I seek therapy, enjoy the thought of Hot Cuts and be sure to visit if you're ever in the Land Down Under area. Also lets hope there are more innovators out there like Wasilewski. We could apply his vision to so many other things in life such as topless golf caddies, topless coffee shops, topless banks, topless airlines, topless bars... wait, we already have those. Oh, You get the point. The possibilities are endless.

Shark Week

Ever wonder why it's damn near impossible to win an argument with a woman? Your chances of winning are about the same odds you have as convincing a shark not to rip your face off. Well gents, the mystery is solved. Apparently women and sharks have a lot more in common than we all thought. So if the myth of punching a shark in the face so it won't attack you is true, then the next time your catching heat for watching the game instead of doing whatever it is she had planned, a clean hit to the snatch could finally help you come out on top.



Warning: The Man Up Team does not guarantee results in either punching sharks or vaginas. We also don't encourage you to hit women.

Rent Is Too Damn High!

In honor of the upcoming election, I present all you men out there with another bad-ass candidate. If you've ever felt like you're paying too much on rent, this guy feels your pain. If you've ever felt that your karate expertise makes you better than everyone else around you, once again this guy is with you. Have some sort of weird over the top shoe fetish? I'm sure as hell going to judge you, but Jimmy's on your side. And of course if your a mustache or facial hair aficionado then this dude is right up your alley. So on November 2nd get out and vote Jimmy McMillan. Why? Because who doesn't want to hear more awesome speeches like this?

Now that's one sexy Fembot

Yes! This IS the droid you are looking for. Now, personally I would be the first on the front lines leading the robot resistance. It's only a matter of time before some dumbass creates some dumbass machine that becomes self aware and wants to enslave us all. (Yeah, I'm talking to you Japan. knock it the fuck off!) But if there ever were a secret weapon that could break my will to fight those murderous tin-cans, this would be it. Thank God this is a hot chick wearing R2-D2 swimwear and not a real fembot because the end of man could have been very well possible. Now if you excuse me, I have to run to Tosche Station to pick up a dozen power converters and massage motor oil for my err, uhh, lady-bot-friend.





















via: Black Milk Clothing

Katz For Mayor

Disclaimer: The opinions expressed below may not reflect the opinions of every member of the Man Up team. This post is not for the faint of heart, so Man Up Bro!

Election Day is approaching fast Men. It is absolutely vital that you do your research and vote for the candidates most likely to lead us to a bad-ass and awesome future. And who better to vote for than a man who refuses to back down from a challenge, even if the challenger appears to only be about 12. Recently in Winnepeg, Canada the Mayor, Sam Katz, was seen kicking a child in the face. His opposition seized the opportunity to start a smear campaign, but I believe it only makes Katz look more bad-ass. It's 2010, who isn't Pro Child Face Kicking by now?! Now if I hailed from Canadia, I would have to vote for this dude.

The Manslater – Mission Accomplished!

The 18th century marked the beginning of the industrial revolution. A century later, our great country marked its independence. In the early to mid 1900’s, America prevailed on the winning side of two world wars. And, some odd years later, we introduced Frank’s RedHot Tabasco sauce to men around the world. Ah, yes…it’s been a long successful road for all that is man, so standing before you today (well, actually sitting in front of my computer) I’m honored to present one of the greatest revolutions yet – The Manslater.

Badass of the Week: the real Fox from the Oceans trilogy

I always appreciated the Oceans movies for the sole purpose of robbing these badass casino owners in a complicated and full-proof heist. Although they would only take them for the equivalent of what a bag of Cheetos is to me, these former-badass gentlemen really knew how to put on a show. But inside all the glory of the casino heists, there was one main fault - the Fox. Mr. Fox, you swagger-jacked my boy Apollo, and couldn’t even complete the job. In the world of pick pocketing, thievery, and heists, you roam the world deaf, blind and dumb, and everyone will know – this is Fox, the man who thought he could be compared to Apollo. Alright, maybe I stole that line from Troy, but at least stealing the line from Troy wasn’t half as bad as Fox attempting to step to the level of Apollo. You deserve to be put in a den with David Bowie and his wolves.

David Bowie -The Most Epic Man Alive

It's been common knowledge for quite some time now, oh, I don't know, the last three or four decades, that David Bowie is one bizarre and creepy dude. The man has always known how to stay ahead of the times. A pioneer in the music of punk, rock and the weird. He produced countless of hits that we all still enjoy today, and has defined what it is to be Epic. I mean really, what was up with that freaky eyeball, man? So, when it comes to David Bowie, it's no surprise that the words legendary and awesomeness come to mind. After all, he is "thee" Goblin King. And as of today, the man still doesn't disappoint. He has proven once again to be "The Most Epic Man Alive".


What's that, you say? Oh, just David Bowie and some MOTHERFUCKING WOLVES.



via: rillawafers

How to Survive a Zombie Apocalypse

If the movies and television have taught us anything, it's that it is only a matter of time until zombies attempt to take over the world. Luckily for us, there are people out there who are planning ahead for such an event. So it's probably a good idea to start stocking up now on such necessities as food, water, guns, ammo (lots and lots of ammo), medical supplies, and of course a machete or two. For the full list of proper instructions on how to save your ass when the undead finally rise, check out the full guide of How to Survive a Zombie Apocalypse.

And after you've studied up on how to handle the zombies, make sure your up to date with your alien knowledge. Now might be a great time to re-read Where will you be when the aliens attack?

Conan O'Brien Drives an Explosives-Packed Car Off A Cliff!

Alright. Conan O'Brien's man cred just went up ten million points with this badass promo. Check it.

Nude Nuns with Big Guns

Here's a movie I think we could all get on board with that echoes the badassitry of Machete. Nude Nuns with Big Guns! Bullets, boobs, blood and explosions. It's got all the necessary ingredients for awesomeness. And if it's from the guys who brought you "Run, Bitch, Run!" How could you go wrong? But it's a shame this is a faux movie trailer. At least we have "Hobo with a Shotgun" with Rutger Muthafuckin' Hauer to look forward to. That will be epic.



Other awesome links: "Hobo With a Shotgun" Unrated Teaser Trailer
Original "Hobo With a Shotgun" Trailer - SXSW Grindhouse Trailer contest winner.

Things Your Dad Should've Taught You

Learning Guitar To Get Laid...

Tired of those hippie, free loving assholes with the acoustic guitars and all the musical knowledge in the world stealing the attention of every hot chick at every awesome party you've every been to? It's bad enough they ruin a perfectly sweet party with their presence alone, but now they've found a way to lure all those women towards them and ruin every other dudes chances of getting laid at the party. Well perhaps it's time to fight fire with fire, except we don't need any musical talent to pull this off anymore. It turns out with just three simple chords you can have all women you want. And the best part is, with these awesome instructions, you don't even have to know what your playing. Just let the chicks do all the work.

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

And if you're looking for more fatherly advice, check out last weeks article as well.
How To Properly Raise Children

Peniplus: The Cure for Monopenis (men who have only one penis)

Suffering from mono-penis? You’re not alone. Billions of men around the world are too. But not to worry, Peniplus is here to help. Just ask your doctor how Peniplus can be right for you.

Ballsiest Man Alive: Jumping Out Of A Skyscraper Window While On Fire

This guy seriously has balls stronger than steel. I wonder what the stunt coordinating meeting could have been like... “Dude, I think you should leap out of a 50 story building.” “Naw, man. That’s lame.” “Yeah, but on fire!” Totally insane. It’s a miracle that the airbag didn’t explode on impact due to the sheer weight of his big cojones.

Chilean Miners trapped “Beneath the Planet of the Apes”?

If you semi watch the news, then I’m sure you already know that we have some tough as nails Chilean miners trapped in a mine shaft for more than two months now. It’s almost unfathomable to know what they have been going through, yet these men among men who are accustomed to braving danger and the unknown persevere. With rescue efforts almost nearing the end and the rescue shaft almost complete, the extraction of the miners could begin within the next 24 hours. This is very exciting news. But instead of being embraced by rescue crews and emotional family members, I think it would be much more awesomer (correct my grammer, you get the backhand) if they were greeted by a horde of people dressed as the apes from the “Planet of the Apes” movie. Or even better, the creepy, hairy, blue, eye-glowing Morlocks from “The Time Machine”. That would be epic! "Ay dios mio!” “You Maniacs! Ahhh! damn you, God damn you all to hell!"

What? Too soon? C’mon, I think after being trapped for two months, they’d appreciate the humor.


Link: CNN "Rescue workers near their goal as Chile awaits"

Badass of the Week – The One Man Excess Factor

The most famous eating competition known to man is held every Fourth of July in the great City of New York where roughly twenty heroes present themselves in front of millions of people and “indulge” in the worlds best hotdogs. Courageous, stunning, ambitious, or for a lack of a better word, fat – these super gentlemen risk their lives for our entertainment. But for every hero with a hotdog, there’s a badass, and this weeks Badass of the Week goes to my former roommate and investment banker (badass career) Danyel, who is know in the underground world of eating competitions as Mr. McFucker.

Mr. McFucker was a self-proclaimed name for single handedly taking down multiple people in eating competitions. He didn’t do it for the fame, the money, the TV ads where he’d stand next to a man pitching car insurance getting paid 2 mil to give a thumbs up and a smile. He did it for the McPride. His weapon of choice: McDonalds (did you guess that one??). Order of choice: Three Double Quarter Pounders, two large fries, five Snack Wraps (ranch), a large Coke, a McChicken, and two apple pies for a double dose of Man. After he was threw with his appetizer, kidding...or am I? He once took down his cousin with his standard Order of Choice, finished what his Cousin couldn’t, washed down a Coke, and then topped off a bag of Doritos just for the victory lap. Status of the Cousin: McFucked.

Epic repel down the mouth of an active volcano

This is probably the manliest thing I've seen all week. A bunch of dudes repelling down the mouth of an active volcano towards a fiery lake of lava just for the hell of it.

The epic expedition took place on the remote Ambrym Island in the South Pacific atop the Marum Volcano and was lead by badass scientist and filmmaker, Geoff Mackley, with the help of extreme climbers, Drew Bristow and Johno Smith, as well as videographer, Daniel Lacy. Hats off to you, Gents. You guys make science awesome.

Video Link: Abseiling Towards a Lava Lake - Extreme Video From Marum Volcano, Ambrym, Vanuatu!

Things Your Dad Should've Taught You

How to properly raise children...

Warning: The opinions expressed below may not be the opinions every member of the Man Up team. This post is not for the faint of heart, so Man Up, Bro!

We've all seen it, the parents who let their kids do anything they want because they are against using a firm hand to teach those little bastards a lesson. Personally, I can't stand children. They're like tiny hammered people. They're loud, they smell, they incoherently babble, and for some reason they are always fucking sticky! "Seriously kid... what are you doing, rubbing maple syrup on your face whenever I turn around?"

It just seems too often these days people are irresponsibly popping out children like they're some sort of fashion accessory. If that's the case, society doesn't want your child. We already have enough morons in the making. So before you ruin your life and the lives of everyone around you by procreating and being an awful parent, listen to this awesome advice.

Click HERE to check out the video that shows getting a dog will make you a better parent.

The art of the handshake

By: The Whiz Kid

You know how they say first impressions last forever... bullshit, the first handshake lasts forever. When you meet another man for the first time, shake his hand with some authority. Now don’t try and crush his hand and seem like a dominant ape, but apply some pressure show me that even if you turn out to be an ass, well hell, at least you’re a man damn it. Think of it as the first time you make love to a woman. You don’t wanna show up with some limp noodle... well God damn it, don’t show up to a handshake with a noodle for a hand. I will think you are as limp as that sissy handshake you just threw out there.

There are exceptions to a manly shake. Don’t be that asshole who grabs my fingers and not my hand forcing me to look like said wimp bitch. Maintain proper etiquette, wait for web-to-web contact before applying pressure. You seem too eager to meet me when you squeeze early, thus causing me to have suspicions about you as a person.

Then you have the shooter. The guy who pulls his hand way back then shoots it at you like its high noon and he’s got his five barreled revolver ready to mow you down. This ain’t a gun fight, although almost as important as one, it is alas not. Just hold that hand out like a man, damn it.

Which leads me to several other variations of hand shake violations, the two handed handshake; Yo buddy, unless your some diplomat, keep your other hand out of this equations. If it takes two of your hands to equal the strength of my manly shake you’re not a man, Damnit. Or the guy who uses both hands. One to shake my hand, the other to shake my forearm. What’s up with that? Why do you feel the need to shake my entire arm? Are you weighing it? Feeling the strength of my forearm? It’s called a handshake not a hand and arm shake, goddamn it.

Now the science behind the actual shake. A little up and down motion is acceptable after all it is a hand shake, but don’t lift my arm so damn high and rip it down like your trying to dislocate my shoulder, goddamn it. This is a case in which less is more. I don’t wanna have to have Tommy Johns surgery because you don’t know how to shake my damn hand. Also don’t go with the short but rapidly quick shake making my arm look like it’s a fucking sound wave this isn’t eighth grade physics when you shake a rope as a demonstration of sound, it’s my fuckin' arm.

All in all, violate any of these rules and although the recipient of one of these handshakes mentioned above won’t say anything in his head you will forever be known as a jackass. Your father should have taught you this shit. Stay manly and do me a favor... MAN THE FUCK UP, BRO!

Lamborghini Ankonian aka Badass Batmobile

It may not be the Dark Knight's Tumbler, but the Lamborghini Ankonian concept is a wet dream for any philanthropist-by-day, vigilante-by-night. This concept car is designed by Slavche Tanevsky, a student at the Munich University of Applied Sciences, and is a variation of his Lamborghini Madura design; a futuristic hybrid concept that he, in collaberation with Lamborghini and Audi, had created as the proposal for the first environment-friendly Lamborghini scheduled to hit the streets in 2016.

Hybrid or not, this mid-engined supercar is a beast. It seems like a lot of the lines, curvatures and overall architecture are inspired by the F-117 stealth fighter, but this monster of a car is probably the closest thing that we'll get to a real life batmobile. And are those afterburners I see on the rear?! Now all it needs are a few rocket luanchers, a mounted vulcan minigun, and armoured plating... next thing you know, you’ll be cleaning maniacal street scum off the streets and putting them into the E.R. in no time.



link: Automotto.org "Lamborghini Ankonian concept project adds more aggression to the Reventon"

Man Down

Let's face its men, it's not always easy being one of us. There's a lot of responsibility that comes with the territory of all that is "man". And unfortunately all too often we lose one of the brotherhood in action. So it's with a heavy heart that I give you this weeks Man Down...

Ka-Boom! Make Your Photos Michael Bay-a-rific!

Are you tired of seeing the same old hum-drum photos of yourself posing with friends and family at some wedding or holiday get-together? You’re best friend’s wife’s obnoxious baby pictures? Or the questionably alarming number of photos your girlfriend has of her kitten? Well, it’s time to turn those photos from ‘boR-Ring’ to ‘Michael Bay-a-rific!’ with the “Michael Bayifier.”

Picture of you, mom and dad... lame. Picture of you, mom and dad with a ticking time bomb and explosions... awesome! Picture of baby making stupid faces... not cool. Picture of baby making stupid faces with screaming harrier jets flying around, bursting into flames... badass! Picture of kitty hanging off the window sill.. seen it a million times. Picture of kitty hanging off the window sill with guns, fast cars, explosions and Megan Fox... Epic! So what are you waiting for? Get those boring photos Michael Bayified at the Michael Bayifier. For awesome.


link: http://bayifier.com/

Flying coach has never been hotter

Flight attendants perform safety dance to Lady Gaga and Katy Perry. Cebu Pacific Airlines says, "[We've] always been known as a fun airline." Now if we could only get these ladies into high heels and bikinis... then we’re onto something. I'm thinking “The Mile High Gentlemen’s Club” Airways.

Where will you be when the aliens attack?

Gentlemen, It’s been confirmed. US Government has observed UFO activity around nuclear weapon sites in the past. That’s just awesome. Now that we know the alien invasion is only a matter of time, how will you prepare yourself? For starters, I suggest fabricating nail-spiked bats for the family. Nothing more says, “Get off our planet!” than your lovely wife and adorable children swinging away at those wide-eyed buggers like crazed maniacs. And I’m pretty sure once they see one of their little grey buddies’ heads pop like a watermelon, they’ll be pissing their pants all the way back to Zorgon 6. Another recommendation, keep your iPod close at all times and always have a heavy metal playlist set. The screaming sounds of metal blocks their mind control abilities. You’re welcome.

link: CNN "UFOs eyeing our nuclear weapons?"

Man Alert!!!

They've created a female condom with teeth!!

This is frightening news men. I'm almost speechless thinking about how terrible it would be to have your chick try to pull this one over on you. So stay sharp out there men, and be sure to do a thorough ocular pat-down of your women before trying to get some make-up sex in after your next fight.

Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9guyVVqHcYo

The Segway Finally Did Something Manly...... Murder...

That's right men.... possibly the least manly vehicle ever invented has its "man stock" on the rise. Not only is it responsible for death and mayhem, but the victim... the co-owner of Segway!

Think It Isn't Manly To Be Sympathetic?

THINK AGAIN!

Man Up and send a little sympathy or encouragement to those who need it. Only don't be a pussy about it, say what's really on your mind, and say it proudly.



Now go create your own bad-ass ecard and tweet our way @ManUpBroTheBlog
Link: http://www.someecards.com/

Marriage on the rocks? Here's a Lawyer for you.

The right divorce lawyer is hard to find. But when you "hate that 'vermin' you call a spouse like poison" and want to escape "the hellhole you call a marriage," divorce attorney Steven Miller is ready for your case.

You Think You Party Hard?

    Ever have one of those unbelievably awesome nights, the ones where you wake up and your first thoughts are..... "What the fuck just happened?!.....Who the hell is this next to me?!... Where am I?!..." Yea you know those nights. The ones with vague memories or committing grand theft auto and commandeering zoo animals, only to wake up and look at your phone to realize it wasn't just an awesome dream.... but you really did have the night of your life. Remember that text that you sent last night? Because these people do.

    So next time you realize work or class is getting in the way of you being all you can be, check out this website and bring yourself back to the simpler times. I'm sure it beats the hell out of whatever else you planned on doing anyways.

Link: www.textsfromlastnight.com

The World`s Most Awesome Guy

"Look at my bird, now look at my car, now back to the bird... Now ask yourself, how can I be as awesome as this? I suggest motor-crossing through the baja desert until you find a sheer rock cliff to climb with a blood-thirsty puma awaiting at the top whose only purpose in life is fighting you to the death. Then maybe we could talk. My puma is sitting in the passenger seat as we speak.

By the way, if you call it a purse, I'll have my bird of prey pluck your eyeballs out... it's a satchel."

Link: i-am-bored.com

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